Warlock Walrock

Alright bitches, let’s get serious. I’ve been doing some soft-googling on Lush reviews, and the results are WEAK! Weak, weak, weak. The best blog I found was by this British couple, and the blog was so insanely out of date that almost none of the products they reviewed are available any more (not even in Retro.) and so I have taken it upon myself to create a well-written, titillating Lush review blog. I am a Lush employee out of a new store in San Diego, CA. I’ve been using Lush products since 2009. I do not use all Lush products, and when reviewing certain products I will explain why I choose to go for the non-Lush option.

So… Where to begin, where to begin…?!

Let’s start with what’s currently in my shower (don’t judge me- we always get free goodies!)

1. Big shampoo
2. Fair Trade Honey shampoo
3. Blousey shampoo
4. Rehab shampoo
5. Happy Happy Joy Joy conditioner
6. Big solid conditioner
7. King of Skin body butter
8. Ro’s Argan body conditioner
9. Porridge soap
10. Alkmaar soap
11. Herbalism face cleanser

Whew. Just wrote that all from memory. That’s scary.

So… Let’s start at número UNO.

1. BIG SEA SALT SHAMPOO
To someone that has never veered from the pantene route, I’ll admit that this shampoo must seem pretty freakin crazy. The majority of the shampoo is sea salt, it comes in a black pot that you scoop a handful out of, and it is 25.95 USD a pot.
So let’s start with what this shampoo is intended to do. Obviously, your hair is supposed to feel clean and fresh after using it, but it is also supposed to create body in fine, flat hair by stripping away the nasty buildup that drugstore hair products leave behind (without stripping away necessary oils from the hair and scalp.) I use this shampoo about once or twice a week. I have very fine, wavy, light brown hair that is super damaged at the ends from a grown out dye job. Fine hair tends to show greasiness very quickly- mine can sometimes look greasy the same day as washing if I use an intensely moisturizing conditioner. I need something a few times a week that really makes my hair feel clean. Big does an excellent job of doing this without drying my hair out. If I were to use this shampoo daily, however, my hair might become more dry on the ends due to how damaged they are.

Big smells…. Clean. Fresh. Mildly oceanic. Salty. You get the idea. In the pot itself, the shampoos scent has a weird undertone, but this goes away immediately upon lathering it up. Out of all the hair products I have tried from Lush, Big smells the most traditional like a store shampoo, but with a must more interesting, unique scent.

So what makes Big so expensive? Off the top of my head, I do not know the ingredients of it, so I won’t try to BS em- what I do know, however, is that Lush NEVER skimps on ingredients, and sometimes they have to spend more in order to support fair trade sources that do not condone animal testing. I will research the ingredients further and update on what makes Big shampoo cost what it costs.

Lather-5/5
Smell-5/5
Value-5/5 (lasts a very long time-about 6 months.)
Recommend? Absofuckinlootley!

Overall, I’d say this is one of my top 10 favorite Lush products.

2. Fair Trade Honey shampoo
I have this shampoo in the 3.3 fl oz size, the smallest size it comes in. Does this shampoo clean my hair well? Yes. Does it leave it feeling soft? Yes. But the smell MUST BE ADDRESSED. The smell… Oh god, the smell. Let me put it this way- my friend visited me at work in the store, and when she smelled the tester of this shampoo, she turned to me with a stone-faced expression and said, “this literally smells like my cats butthole.” this is a true story. True, she may have been exaggerating.. But BARELY. Although this shampoo is over 50% honey, it smells more like a rotting sugar paste than honey. This shampoo makes me hair look GREAT. But the horrible smell lingers in my hair and messes with my head all day.

Lather- 5/5
Smell- 1/5
Value- 5/5 (honey is a natural preservative, so this shampoo doesn’t expire.)
Recommend? No.

TO BE CONTINUED

Ladies:

I remember when Ugg boots first gained popularity in 2004. It started out with the shorter, lighter ones being most popular, followed soon by the taller brown ones that could be folded over. This trend started to fizzle out a bit a year later, and two years later, I let out a huge sigh of relief that finally this hideous, incredibly boring trend was OVER. Cut to 2012- That’s right, 8 FUCKING YEARS LATER - and GIRLS CONTINUE TO BEAT THIS LOOK INTO THE GROUND. You know what? Maybe I sound like I’m judging. That’s probably because I AM. It’s incredibly frustrating that so many women do not have the creativity, self-confidence, or personality to wear what THEY WANT TO WEAR, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT EVERYONE ELSE IS WEARING THE SAME THING OR NOT. 

I have the unique experience of attending community college in Southern California- probably one of the least creative places I’ve ever been, fashion/style wise. It is literally gut wrenching to see girl after girl wearing black leggings, boots (usually with no heel), a loose off the shoulder shirt, Ray-Bans/ other equally generic sunglasses, long straightened hair, cell phone in right hand, eyes are not on the oncoming cars/pathway in front but rather on their iPhone Facebook app. I’m not trying to generalize here. I have tried to tell myself that maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see. But sadly, it is unavoidable. I have never come across a part of the country with less interesting females than Southern California. 

I shake my head at you dumb bitches.

So, I wanted to write something about relationships. About that strange feeling in your soul that you hold onto for dear life. Your partner, your best friend, your confidant and lover. The person you call before anyone else when the shit hits the fan. The one who knows me better than I know myself. He is my heart, my soul, my angel and my demons and everything in between. to love someone more than you love yourself. to see their soul in their eyes and have no fear of it. he sets me free with his eyes and just as easily kidnaps me with angry stare. we may yell and scream, we may say things we don’t mean. And when he makes love to me all that passion makes sense, because our bodies were made for one another. His skin is smooth and creamy and his arms are strong. 

i can’t believe that I would hurt him like this.. put him and i in jeopardy. My heart is aching so intensely, I feel glued to my seat…as if I couldn’t do anything else but think about this even if i wanted to. This barely feels real. I hate that I did this, and I hate that part of me still is that manipulative lying sack of shit I used to be. I try to think that I’ve changed and thats that. but thats a lie. Old habits die goddamn hard.

I killed that trust. I killed it. And i will reap the consequences as long as it takes.

moving into new one bedroom apartment tomorrow.

i cant even describe how excited i am, and grateful that this is all happening before christmas, i am so blessed